During class this week, we had an evaluation session on our own and our classmates’ progress on the Poetry in Motion assignment. We learned how to evaluate objectively, and start a review not with “I like this one the best”, but from first impression and gradually analyse the content, layout and typographic choice of the composition.
The feedback I received on this composition was that it looks intense, messy, hard to read. Problems with alignment (the fire-ice-desire look like they belong to the lines below them). The other compositions were less welcomed than this one, because of the irregularity of the flow.
Following up the critiques, I fixed the structure, alignment and flow of the composition so that it’d be easier to read. I also tried overlapping the “fire” and “ice” on the first few lines as suggested, and it turns out looking more legible.
Not only that, I changed the page to 50x50cm because the 70×28 orientation did the composition no good, and there was barely any space to place the title and author of the poem. As for the “destruction” I experimented on adding cracks on the letters by duplicating them, placing them on top and coloring them with the color of the page. I repeated the process on the last few lines so that the structure looks like it is crumbling. I was also told that it’d be better for the letters of the word “destruction” to be scrambled even more, instead of creating an m-like wave (like it does above).
Last but not least, I scrambled the last 3 lines and make them look like they’re not only cracked, but also crumbling down, giving a total impression of destruction. I also swapped the background & text color, and I feel this color scheme gives the right aura and has the correct intention – the dark backdrop emphasises the poem’s theme of end and destruction of the world.
I feel that the evaluation session was definitely helpful and it opens new possibilities and insight. We often get so absorbed on doing our own work that we miss things that would’ve been easily spotted by others.
Thanks a lot and cheers to all the constructive criticism! 🙂